My journey to coaching
My journey to coaching
Rediscovering a passion and building a path to inspire others
When I was nearly 18, my parents asked me a pivotal question: “What do you want to become in life? Which university do you want to attend?” My answer was clear—I wanted to study psychology. But this was nearly three decades ago, in a country shaped by its communist past. Psychology, in my parents’ view, didn’t promise a stable career. They encouraged me to pursue a field that would lead to steady employment, and since I excelled in math, engineering seemed the logical choice. Although I followed this path, my passion for psychology quietly remained within me, waiting for the right moment to resurface.
Years later, with my engineering degree in hand, I began working in the field and, at 25, relocated to the Netherlands. Immersing myself in a new culture proved challenging, as I initially felt like an outsider. Alone in a foreign land, far from family and friends, I often believed that my ideas and perspectives were misunderstood. However, as time passed, I realized that the root of my struggle was within me; I needed to change my outlook and adapt. Embracing this, I enrolled in courses and began studying part-time at a new university. This period of learning opened up a new universe—I became more open to listening, seeing situations from diverse perspectives, and accepting that others may not share my culture or mindset. Over time, my professional life began to flourish.
With my drive and motivation, I noticed that more colleagues and friends began coming to me for advice or simply to share their challenges. I asked why they felt comfortable discussing personal matters with me, and their answer was always the same: they found inspiration in my enthusiasm. Helping others brought me genuine happiness, whether by contributing to their joy or assisting in their decision-making. My passion for psychology began to rekindle, now taking the shape of coaching.
After a decade in my career, I joined a new company with a structured mentorship program. I chose a senior manager from France as my mentor, and soon I was also asked to mentor a junior engineer—a young lady from Spain who just starting her career. This experience helped me realize that coaching was something I wanted to pursue wholeheartedly. Although coaching wasn’t widely recognized in the Netherlands at that time, I found immense joy in listening, analyzing, and guiding others as they explored their options. I was coaching out of passion, and it gave me incredible energy. Thinking alongside others, helping them discover their solutions, and motivating them to pursue their dreams became profoundly rewarding.
Years later, a former colleague, nearing retirement, also left a lasting impact on my coaching journey. His empathetic, patient approach and non-judgmental guidance reinforced my decision to fully embrace coaching as my calling. What excites me most as a coach is the opportunity to help others develop personally and professionally, especially in areas of career growth and leadership. These fields align deeply with my professional background, personality, and passions. My journey of self-discovery and transformation has strengthened my commitment to helping others find their path.
As a coach, my mission is to support and guide individuals in reaching their full potential. In this journey, I’ve discovered core values that I hold as essential:
Empathy: as a coach, empathy is the foundation of my work. It means understanding and respecting my clients’ emotions and perspectives, listening without judgment, and seeing the world through their eyes.
Active listening: coaching is about fostering exploration and growth. My role is to actively listen, ask meaningful questions, and provide constructive feedback.
Respect: respecting each client’s autonomy, values, and goals is fundamental in building a healthy coaching relationship.
Honesty and integrity: I believe in maintaining honesty and integrity in my interactions with clients, being transparent about my limitations, and refraining from making promises I cannot keep.
Positive communication: I strive to communicate in a way that is positive and constructive, encouraging the coachee with every interaction.
In coaching, a foundational principle is to empower clients to find their own solutions and unlock their potential. However, coaches must remain vigilant of certain common pitfalls that can unintentionally shift the focus away from the client’s journey. Here are some essential practices I’ve found crucial to creating a constructive, client-centered coaching experience:
1. Avoiding advice-giving
Coaching is not about handing out solutions; it’s about guiding clients toward discovering their own answers. Offering advice can undermine the client’s growth by creating dependency and shifting the focus away from their self-discovery. I focus on fostering an environment where clients feel supported in exploring their insights keeping the spotlight on their journey rather than directing them with advice or guidance.
2. Talking less, Listening more
Listening is at the core of effective coaching. Sometimes, it’s easy to fall into the habit of talking too much—especially when enthusiasm takes over. But true coaching lies in listening actively and deeply. I work consciously to refine my listening skills, ensuring that each session remains a safe space for clients to express themselves fully without unnecessary interruptions.
3. Maintaining objectivity
As a coach, staying objective and nonjudgmental is essential. However, personal judgments can sometimes slip through unconsciously. I remain vigilant in practicing self-awareness and setting aside any biases to stay fully present and impartial, allowing the client’s experience to take center stage.
4. Allowing time for reflection
It’s natural to want to jump in with solutions, especially when answers seem clear from an outside perspective. Yet, true growth happens when clients have the time and space to reflect and reach conclusions themselves. I am learning to step back, resist the urge to provide solutions, and instead, hold space for clients to find their way forward.
By staying mindful of these potential pitfalls, I strive to create a coaching environment where clients can fully explore their paths, embrace their insights, and make progress in a way that feels truly authentic to them. In this way, coaching becomes a collaborative and empowering journey.
An essential component of coaching is setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Together with my clients, I develop an action plan to reach these goals, encouraging them to take ownership of their progress. Reaching goals requires consistent effort, and by helping clients set SMART goals, I support them in staying focused and motivated.
Beyond skill development, coaching also nurtures leadership and decision-making abilities. These skills not only help clients achieve their goals but also empower them to become effective leaders in their fields.
In summary, as a coach, my mission is to help coachees reach their full potential. Through active communication, SMART goal-setting, and ongoing development, coaching becomes a powerful tool for both personal and professional growth. This journey is a continuous learning experience—a partnership that yields profound benefits for those willing to embark on it.
This is the story of my path to coaching, my mission and vision, my values, and the development I pursue to become an effective and inspiring coach.
